24-year-old disinvites fiancé's family from wedding in Italy over complaints about no-kids policy: 'I revoked their invitations'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Mar 20, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

It's impossible to please everyone when you're planning a wedding. Sure, far too many family members claim they want to be helpful, but most of the time, they just have demands, needs, and views that they want to enforce. 

Of course, one needs to not make one's wedding entirely inconvenient for all of the guests. After all, these are the people you love who are presumably traveling (in this case, across the world) to be there on your special day. You have to please them in some way, but obviously, you cannot please everyone. Some people just need to accept that.

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    Cheezburger Image 10482142208
    via Dan Novac

  • Here, we have a couple planning a destination wedding in Italy, as one of them was born there and has family there. They decided that due to the venue, it made the most sense to make this a no-kids wedding with the exception of two close family members. Apparently, the choice to make exceptions offended one of the fiancé's cousins, who wanted to bring their kids to the wedding. 

    Now, this cousin had three children, all of whom were under the age of 10. It made absolutely no sense for them to come to the reception, and this was clearly communicated to all family members at the start of the planning process. That explanation wasn't good enough for the cousin, who decided to start even more family drama. Well, let's just say that the couple had enough of their shenanigans and decided to revoke their invitations (and plane tickets) entirely.

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    "AITA for uninviting my fiancés cousin from the wedding and returning her plane ticket?"

    I (24M) am getting married to my fiancé (25M) in April. We're having our wedding in Italy, as I was born there, and made sure everyone knew it was a kid free (18+) wedding as there are major safety precautions that had to be taken, like an open bar, water features that aren't blocked off,
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    an open smoke lounge, and multiple other things that may not be safe for kids of any age. The venue didn't forbid children just suggested against it.
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    The only exceptions to this rule is my 17 year old sister who is my best man, she is one of my two sisters but unfortunately my older sister did when i was 10 years old. I always dreamed of having
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    my older sister at my wedding as my best 'woman' growing up (I didn't know I had a little sister at this time as shes only my half sister and we didn't meet until my mom did and I moved in with my dad at 12) and was thrilled that
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    my little sister was willing to fill this role. The other exception is my fiancés niece (7) who he adores more than the earth, she's gonna be the flower girl and is going to be the absolute only under ten allowed at the
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    wedding. (If you're wondering about whether or not she'll get lonely being the only young kid there, I promise she will be fine)
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    When my fiancés side got their invitations (back in Feburary of last year) and heard about her being the flower girl they were extatic for her and immediately congratulated us, only a few people asked about the child only rule but nobody complained. about it.
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    Until last Saturday when I got an email from my fiancés cousin (26F), who already rsvp'd for only her and her husband back in June 2023. We hadn't heard from them since thanksgiving last year
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    when we went to his grandmas (who has since passed) house and they congratulated us and left it at that. In her email she explained that she thought it was unfair that my fiancés niece, who
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    was younger than her oldest, was allowed to come, but none of her kids were. I explained to her that we were closer with his sisters family than hers and it was his dream to have his niece
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    participate in our wedding, it was one of the only requests he made and one of the only exceptions to our rule.
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    After a few days she emailed me back and told me that she didn't think the rule was fair and that her kids were either going to the wedding or none of her family were going. So I returned her and
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    her husbands tickets (my dad had paid for most of the families on both sides tickets, it was his big contribution to the wedding which I am so grateful for) and I revoked their invitations.
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    I emailed her again explaining what happened and she responded cursing me for ruining her trip to Italy and blocked my email.
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    I've gotten a few other messages from various members of that family calling me a little outlandish and saying I should've heared her out or just let the kids
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    (3 under 10) come to the wedding, but I didn't want to deal with that stress a month before my wedding. AITA?
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    +++++
    via The Chaffins

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Edit: I am overwhelmed with the ammount of comments and support on this post, currently busy but I will go through and answer anyone with questions later today! Thank you all!
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    Edit 2: I've been getting a bunch of questions about the situation so I'll go deeper into context of what happened and what was said for a moment. Plus a small update!
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    1. She had expected my dad to be able to buy them three extra tickets on the same plane and, since we are staying for multiple days, get enough extra beds for them, even though the hotels are completely booked and sorted out.
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    2. Babysitting wasn't an issue for her needing to bring her kids when we were going over this stuff last year, me and my stepmom went through everyone with kids.
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    and made sure their kids were going to be looked after. If it was a problem with not finding a babysitter or not being able to afford a babysitter we would have helped them with it. She was
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    planning on leaving the kids with her in-laws who, to my knowledge, were still available when she suggested just bringing the
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    kids. If plans changed and they were no longer able to watch them, the situation would have been handled differently.
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    3. Her husband reached out to me about an hour ago and texted me saying sorry for his wife's behavior, he didn't even know she was making a deal about the kids.
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    Apparently they had had a conversation about how it would be fun to be able to take the kids on a vacation to a foreign country in the future and she decided this was their family vacation. He wished us the best and thats all I've heard.
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    4. We wre planning to have a smaller celebration in the U.S. in a few months for people who couldn't come next month. We wont be doing vows or anything just a celebration of marriage.
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    This event will allow kids as it will not have alc ol and will not have as many risks, me and my fiancé are discussing whether or not they will be invited to this. but considering her husbands truely heartfelt apology, they will most likely be invited.
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    5. My fiancé finds this all hilarious, he is not even close to this cousin and is much closer to her brothers, who are not on her side. The only people who are really making a fuss is her mom, her sister, and a few more distant relatives.
    via nidimer

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family drama Italy wedding party family feud wedding entitled people karma family entitled people
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